Do you know what ‘kys’ means?If you read the acronym KYS – or kys, as it’s usually written online – you might think it’s harmless. Some TikTok users have even suggested it means “keep your smile”.
But there’s a more sinister meaning behind those three letters that parents should be aware of because it could highlight cyberbullying.
According to Gabb’s guide to teen slang, the acronym stands for “kill yourself”.
It’s not unheard of for people to receive ‘KYS’, ‘kys’ or even ‘keys’ comments on social media platforms, whether publicly or via personal message.
But while some might mean it in a jokey way, the meaning can land differently from person to person. As the New Statesmen previously said: “Though many view ‘kys’ as funny, it can cause genuine distress.”
In the past week, one content creator took to TikTok to call out those people who use the phrase ‘kys’ in response to others they disagree with online.
“It’s truly concerning how we’ve become so desensitised to the phrase ‘kys’ on here,” said user PukingPumpkin717 in a video.
“Every comment section I open, someone is saying that to someone that doesn’t agree with them. Like yesterday … people were arguing over whether a certain song is good or not and one told the other to kts [kill themselves] and I asked them ‘you’re really telling someone to die over not liking a song?’ And then [they] told ME to calm down and that it wasn’t that deep.”
In the comments section, the TikTok creator added: “I’ve had people randomly dm [direct message] me to die after I posted a video with an opinion they didn’t agree with. None of my videos are really about serious topics so there was no need to be THAT upset either.”
What to do if you spot ‘kys’ comments on your child’s social media
Writing for Be Strong, Izzy Kalman, a school psychologist, said “young people taking their own lives is one of the most common themes of bullying news stories” and “in many of these cases, the children died by suicide shortly after kids told them to”.
Yet Kalman added when bullied children choose to end their lives, “it is never a response to their first experience of being mistreated” and is “always the last stage in a history of being picked on”.
If you’ve spotted ‘kys’ comments on your child’s social media, it’s important to speak to them about it – have a calm, non-judgmental conversation and try to explore where, and who, these comments might be coming from.
The Child Mind Institute recommends telling children they should ignore mean comments made online, turn off their device and walk away. Experts at Met Police agree, warning that responding to such messages “may encourage the sender and make the situation worse”.
You can also encourage your child to make use of the ‘block’ and ‘report’ tools on social media. Under The UK’s Online Safety Act, social media companies have a responsibility to protect users from harm – especially children.
If your child knows who is behind the nasty messages, you could speak to their parents about it or contact your child’s school (if the person also attends).
“Encourage your child to ask their friends for support,” adds the Child Mind Institute. “Research shows that kids standing up for each other are very effective in stopping bullies.”
Don’t be afraid to report threatening messages to the police
You can also report threatening comments and messages to the police. If possible, take a screenshot of the message(s) so if it gets deleted later there will still be a record of what was said.
Advice from Met Police reads: “For harassment to be committed, there must have been a clear ‘course of conduct’. That is, two or more related occurrences. The messages do not necessarily have to be violent in nature, but would need to have caused some alarm or distress.
“If there has only been a single communication, it’s unlikely it would qualify as harassment, but could be considered a malicious communication.
“For such an offence to be committed, a message must be sent to another person, or sent via a public communications network, that is indecent, grossly offensive, obscene, threatening or menacing.”
Signs of cyberbullying
If you’re worried about cyberbullying, but aren’t sure if your child is impacted, clinical psychologist Dr Anna Colton shared a common sign to look out for.
She told BBC Bitesize parents should be aware of any changes in smartphone, tablet or laptop use – either their children using it a lot more (which might suggest they’re tracking social media activity) or using it less (which could mean they’re avoiding nasty comments).
If they briefly mention friendship difficulties or being teased online it’s also worth exploring this further with them.
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Do you know what ‘kys’ means?If you read the acronym KYS – or kys, as it’s usually written online – you might think it’s harmless. Some TikTok users have even suggested it means “keep your smile”. But there’s a more sinister meaning behind those three letters that parents should be aware of because it could highlight cyberbullying.According to Gabb’s guide to teen slang, the acronym stands for “kill yourself”.It’s not unheard of for people to receive ‘KYS’, ‘kys’ or even ‘keys’ comments on social media platforms, whether publicly or via personal message. But while some might mean it in a jokey way, the meaning can land differently from person to person. As the New Statesmen previously said: “Though many view ‘kys’ as funny, it can cause genuine distress.”In the past week, one content creator took to TikTok to call out those people who use the phrase ‘kys’ in response to others they disagree with online. “It’s truly concerning how we’ve become so desensitised to the phrase ‘kys’ on here,” said user PukingPumpkin717 in a video.“Every comment section I open, someone is saying that to someone that doesn’t agree with them. Like yesterday … people were arguing over whether a certain song is good or not and one told the other to kts [kill themselves] and I asked them ‘you’re really telling someone to die over not liking a song?’ And then [they] told ME to calm down and that it wasn’t that deep.”In the comments section, the TikTok creator added: “I’ve had people randomly dm [direct message] me to die after I posted a video with an opinion they didn’t agree with. None of my videos are really about serious topics so there was no need to be THAT upset either.”What to do if you spot ‘kys’ comments on your child’s social mediaWriting for Be Strong, Izzy Kalman, a school psychologist, said “young people taking their own lives is one of the most common themes of bullying news stories” and “in many of these cases, the children died by suicide shortly after kids told them to”.Yet Kalman added when bullied children choose to end their lives, “it is never a response to their first experience of being mistreated” and is “always the last stage in a history of being picked on”.If you’ve spotted ‘kys’ comments on your child’s social media, it’s important to speak to them about it – have a calm, non-judgmental conversation and try to explore where, and who, these comments might be coming from.The Child Mind Institute recommends telling children they should ignore mean comments made online, turn off their device and walk away. Experts at Met Police agree, warning that responding to such messages “may encourage the sender and make the situation worse”.You can also encourage your child to make use of the ‘block’ and ‘report’ tools on social media. Under The UK’s Online Safety Act, social media companies have a responsibility to protect users from harm – especially children. If your child knows who is behind the nasty messages, you could speak to their parents about it or contact your child’s school (if the person also attends).“Encourage your child to ask their friends for support,” adds the Child Mind Institute. “Research shows that kids standing up for each other are very effective in stopping bullies.”Don’t be afraid to report threatening messages to the police You can also report threatening comments and messages to the police. If possible, take a screenshot of the message(s) so if it gets deleted later there will still be a record of what was said.Advice from Met Police reads: “For harassment to be committed, there must have been a clear ‘course of conduct’. That is, two or more related occurrences. The messages do not necessarily have to be violent in nature, but would need to have caused some alarm or distress.“If there has only been a single communication, it’s unlikely it would qualify as harassment, but could be considered a malicious communication.“For such an offence to be committed, a message must be sent to another person, or sent via a public communications network, that is indecent, grossly offensive, obscene, threatening or menacing.”Signs of cyberbullyingIf you’re worried about cyberbullying, but aren’t sure if your child is impacted, clinical psychologist Dr Anna Colton shared a common sign to look out for.She told BBC Bitesize parents should be aware of any changes in smartphone, tablet or laptop use – either their children using it a lot more (which might suggest they’re tracking social media activity) or using it less (which could mean they’re avoiding nasty comments).If they briefly mention friendship difficulties or being teased online it’s also worth exploring this further with them. Related…If Your Daughter Is Called A ‘Bop’ At School, It’s Not What You Think It Means’I Cancelled My Daughter’s 16th After She Made This Joke. Did I Go Too Far?’What The Sigma?! A Teacher Breaks Down What On Earth Your Kid Is Saying Parents, life as a parent, Teens, Bullying, life-as-a-parent, teens, bullying HuffPost UK – Athena2 – All Entries (Public)
